Kids and dating

A man recently asked me what my kids would do if he were to show up at my house sometime.

I was floored. We’d been talking for a few weeks and hadn’t yet actually met in person, and he was already thinking of meeting my kids.

Hold on, buster. Not so fast.

I’ve been divorced for seven years, and have dated some, not a lot. Of the handful of men I’ve dated, my kids — now teenagers — have met just one, and that was two months into the relationship.

I don’t know what the rules are for meeting kids, or how the kids will react. What I do know, though, is that I have absolutely no idea what it must be like seeing your parents date.

Apparently I’m not alone. Take a look online and find plenty of columns, like this one, aimed at helping parents get their kids prepared.

I’m from the generation that was beginning to see the swing of divorce come into acceptance. While I was one of the lucky ones — my parents just celebrated their 43rd anniversary — many of my friends’ parents were divorced. Even then, though, I don’t recall any of them dating.

So what is appropriate? Do you introduce someone you’re just dating to your kids, or do you wait until it’s developed into some semblance of a relationship?

For me, I’ll wait until it’s something worth bringing them into.

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