Tag Archives: losing weight

Some things get better – right?

50 for molly3

Part of an ongoing-but-irregular countdown to 50.

75. Everyone talks about how things start to get more difficult as you age: losing weight, exercising, reading without glasses, finding your car keys, remembering just why it is you walked into a room or opened a closet door. I get all those – and fully agree with all of them.

But there are a few things I really hope get easier as we age.

  • Budgeting money – I’ve never been a financial whiz, to be sure, but learning to live on a budget – and to say “no” to myself – has become a priority to me since my divorce 15 years ago.┬áPart of it comes from the fact that until three years ago, I didn’t have any credit cards – we gave them up as part of the divorce proceeding (never mind) and I never got another one until recently. Truly living on what you have is an eye-opening experience. I’ll admit to splurging a bit when I finally did break down and get a card, but I’ve tempered that part of my brain with the, “but if we save we can go places!” philosophy (Ireland, here I come!). So far, so good. It’s still tight, I still cut things out of my budget to make room for other things, but, as they say, “You’ve come a long way, baby.”
  • Budgeting time – This one comes a bit harder to me. It’s no secret that I tend to spread myself a bit too thin (that came up twice in my performance review at work) and – more times than I’d like – I run late to personal events and outings. I think one of the reasons I don’t go to a lot of movies is because I worry about being late. Mostly because I usually am.
  • Dating – While this will certainly make a best-selling book someday, dating in my 40s was … interesting. There were a few relationships and an awful lot of awful lines from potential suitors (“I’m getting tired of the five-knuckle shuffle” or “Like most redheads I bet your [sic] built like a brick house”) or from those who I actually went out with (remember the gross, “I’d like to put my skin boat in your tuna chute”? Still makes my skin crawl.). I swear I’m hearing more bad come-ons now than I did before I was married.
  • Living – This one definitely gets better with age, at least I think so. I gave up home ownership seven years ago and really, really like renting – the idea of someone else picking up the tab when the water heater dies, or the air conditioning goes out is quite appealing. And right now I’m in the middle of another transition – moving from a building where I’m kind of embarrassed to have first-time guests visit – the smell of marijuana is overpowering, litter in the yard is off-putting, the broken front door and burned-out hall lights slum-looking – to a secure building where, theoretically, “shit gets done.” Living better to me also means enjoying life, being happy – you never know when you won’t get another tomorrow, so enjoy today. That’s what I try to do. Live with no regrets.
  • Finally figuring out why I really did go into that room – Yeah, I doubt I’ll figure that one out, either.
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Women really ARE hard to understand

For years I’ve listened to men joke about how difficult women are to understand. No we’re not, I’d think. All you have to do is pay attention.

Today, I started to see the light.

I’ve blogged about this before, on my Losing It blog: reality slapped me in the face this week and I’ve discovered/realized that I’ve not just gained “a little bit of weight.” I’ve officially gained back half of the 115 pounds I lost with my divorce. Ugh.

I was talking to my mother about it earlier today, and I told her I was a little upset with her for not having mentioned it to me. “Could you have at least said, ‘Hey …?'”

And then it hit me. Would I have really wanted my mom, or my best friend, or my sister, or anyone to tell me, “Hey, you should really think about losing some weight.”

I’m not sure.

On the one hand, it would have been nice to have someone agree with me when I said, “Wow. I can’t believe I’m gaining so much weight,” rather than say things like, “No, you look fine,” or “Really? You don’t look like you’ve gained weight.”

But is that something we really want to hear? We tell ourselves that yes, we would want our mothers or best friends to let us know, but when it really comes down to it, do we? How would I react if I was sitting at dinner with my best friends and, when the waiter took our order, my friends looked at me and said, “Do you really think you should get the chimichanga? I’m thinking the chicken fajitas would be better – without the tortilla.”

To say I wouldn’t react very well is a bit of an understatement.

So, dear guys and men, maybe you do indeed have a point. Maybe we really are a little hard to understand.

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