What do you mean, “senior”?

I love – and give credit to – eCards. They’re my favorite.

Part of a daily countdown to my 50s.

90. I found this article over the weekend as I was starting to freak out a little about trying to come up with 90 more things to say about turning 50 – the good, the bad, the funny. It’s one of those wonderful lists that are easy to read and even easier to relate to, but I have to admit I was taken aback when it was from the website seniors.lovetoknow.com.

Um, no. I’ll accept that I’m turning 50. Fine. Can’t really do anything about that. But “senior”? I’ll be damned if I’ll be OK with that, not just yet. It hasn’t been that long ago that I had to convince myself that I was really of the age that dating a 50-year-old man was appropriate – just a few years, to be honest. But even then I didn’t consider 50 to be senior. (Of course, I also don’t think of my parents – ages 71 and 77 – as senior citizens, either.)

So here’s the list – with some amended to include comments.

1. You’re less fearful – although I still hate going into unfamiliar dark areas by myself. (Thank you, Criminal Minds.)
2. You’re not afraid to have opinions – or, as the recent election cycle has proven, to share them.
3. You know yourself
4. You have a greater appreciation of life
5. It’s easier to laugh at yourself – especially when you have so much material.
6. It’s easier to laugh at others -<snicker>
7. It’s easier to take life less seriously
8. You stop caring what other people think – I do, but I don’t.
9. You stop sweating the small stuff
10. You have a lifetime of wisdom to help you make decisions – and yet I still can’t decide what to have for dinner.
11. You are more at peace
12. You’re less critical of your body and weight – well … yes, and no.
13. You know that eating right and exercise are the best medicine
14. You embrace your imperfections
15. You make jokes more often
16. You get to use the excuse: “I’m set in my ways”
17. You have a reason for forgetting things
18. You have a reason for losing things
19. You have a reason for telling the same stories
20. You can be as grumpy as you wish
21. You can learn to dance
22. You can learn to sing – which is amazing, because I could never learn this before.
23. No one cares if you’re a bad singer
24. People expect you to be a bad dancer
25. Your inner confidence shines – a good friend once told me several years ago, “the sexiest thing you can wear is confidence.” I haven’t taken it off since.
26. You can go home early without offending anyone
27. You can enjoy being settled in life
28. With kids out of the house, you can be more spontaneous
29. Your kids stop expecting big gifts from you – Ummm??
30. AARP discounts are everywhere – No. Just … no.
31. Other age-related discounts and free stuff for seniors – Quit calling me a senior, dammit!
32. Younger people will help you more – What? Am I suddenly stupid?
33. You have more time to explore new hobbies
34. You can wear red hats that don’t match your clothes – I look awful in hats.
35. You can wear glitter or funny sweaters and laugh at yourself – But why would you?
36. You can wear glitter or funny sweaters in public with pride – No. No, you can’t.
37. You can go gray with your hair – Nope.
38. Retired life is just around the corner
39. Relaxation
40. Nap time is fun again
41. Waking up too early and watching a sunrise
42. Resting feels natural
43. Buying more comfortable clothing – This screams “Frumpy!” and I’ll have no part of it, thankyouverymuch.
44. Fewer comparisons to younger folks
45. The amazing things you’ve seen that younger people have not
46. Your wisdom
47. Your advice
48. Your ability to let go
49. Your ability to forgive others – This is true. Except for the author of this list, who is probably some college kid working an internship thinking he needs to appease the older generation. Yes, you. I was you, once! Fifty IS NOT OLD!
50. Your ability to forgive yourself – I forgive myself for that rant.